Christmas without your loved one can be very difficult, the build up to the day itself in many ways can feel worse. It is important to do what feels right for you at this time.
- Be prepared and recognise that Christmas will be different and difficult, think what is best for you. This maybe the need to do something completely different or the need to do the same as previous years.
- Think about how you can remember your loved one on the day. Maybe continue a tradition that was important to them. Find a way to celebrate your loved one, maybe you could ‘raise a glass’, light a candle or leave a place for them at the table.
- Spend the day how you want to spend it, try and be honest with your family and friends and plan what feels right in advance.
- Look after you and think of ways to support yourself throughout the day, give yourself space if you need it to go and have a moment to yourself, plan them if your need to. You may want another person to be aware of this, so they know to respect this time is yours.
- Be with people who understand your loss.
- It might feel important to visit the grave of your loved one, or the place where their cremated remains are scattered to take flowers or a card.
- Go for a walk if possible and take regular breaks if you need to.
- Help others…. volunteering can create a positive feeling and help take your mind of your loss and give you a feel of satisfaction.
- Share your grief and talk to those around you about how you are feeling with the build up to Christmas or the day itself. This will allow you to connect with them without having to wear your ‘happy festive face’ and it may help lighten the heaviness of your loss.
- Allowing your emotions to come if they need to, it can feel so much harder to keep things bottled up.
- Ask for help…. remember, it is always ok to ask for help if and when you need it.
- If avoiding Christmas becomes unavoidable, try allowing yourself to ‘go with it’ just one day at a time, this may feel more manageable.
- Remember its ok to enjoy the day, this does not mean you have forgotten your loved one and are not thinking of them. You may start the day in tears but end it with a smile…. it is okay to grieve and feel sad, but it is also okay to enjoy yourself and feel happy to.
Our own Bereavement Counsellor can provide a range of Bereavement Support services to any next of kin or other members of the families within our care. Support is there if you need it, without any pressure or obligation.
