Loss forever changes the world of the bereaved. It’s a new environment, both personal and social. In the early stages of loss, the most noticeable secondary losses are things like decision making and confidence.

As time goes by, the funeral is over and everyone else has gone back to their own lives, the reality of life after loss starts to be become clear. This is when the bereaved can feel lonely and isolated. Financial issues and family dynamic changes can often be at the forefront of the secondary losses. The loss of identity can cause confidence issues, you were a wife, a husband, a mother, a father, a carer. What do you do with the empty space that was filled by that role. This was part of your identity – who are you on the other side of loss?

All the current and potential losses that follow as a result of the primary loss become evident over time. Each identified secondary loss requires its own grief response. Unfinished business that involves the loss can also be present. It can be challenging to navigate this new life, and you may find yourself unwilling to move forward initially

It is often difficult for the family and friends of an individual who has recently experienced the loss of a loved one to understand why the grieving process lasts so long. Family and friends want to see their loved one be happy and “get on with life.” It is important, therefore, to be aware of the many secondary losses that can accompany grief. This awareness may help the grieving person, as well as others who care about this individual, to be more patient and move gently during this time of grief and bear in mind that grieving does not have an end point and that grief issues can occur long into the future.

While secondary losses can feel overwhelming and sometimes go unrecognised, it's important to remember that they are a natural part of the grieving process. Acknowledging them with compassion allows space for healing—not just from the initial loss, but from all the changes that come with it. Be patient with yourself, lean on support where you can, and know that over time, new meaning and connection can be found. You’re not alone on this journey.